


it takes a village (to water a garden)

by Nadler



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Crack, Gen, Wishplants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 00:30:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11498010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadler/pseuds/Nadler
Summary: Jason Spezza does not need advice on how to take care of a wishplant. He has three kids. He's done it before.





	it takes a village (to water a garden)

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, right, someone had to write a wishplants fic. This is probably not what anyone wanted.
> 
> Basic premise for the peeps who probably have no idea what I'm talking about: like wishbabies, but with plants. When you (and a special someone else) want a kid, you get a plant to take care of first. To show that you're ready. 
> 
> Don't kill the plant? Eventually you have a kid that shows up. Ta-da.

Jason starts the oneupmanship by coming in with ivy. He knows that hockey bags can smell, so he's let it spill over, just over the top of the zipper. He places it above his stall.

Vern just sents him a look and chuckles, which is fine, but then half the team whistles at him. Eaks just laughs and says, "Wow."

Klinger frowns and says, "I don't get it." That's a little rude, Jason thinks. Oduya prompts Klinger with a curt word in Swedish, and then Klinger goes, "Oh, congratulations." 

Jason shrugs. He always wanted a big family, and he guesses his wife agrees. 

From Klinger's other side, Jason hears, "Ivy, though?" It's Jordie. "It's going to be another girl, then?" 

"Hey!" Tyler interjects. He sounds defensive. "I was ivy. What are you saying about me?" 

"Nothing that you don't do yourself," Jordie chirps. 

"Gets everywhere, kinda annoying, hard to get rid of," Ales says. "It sounds like him." 

Jason giggles. Also, Jason's pretty sure that the traditional plants for boys and girls is just a guideline instead of a pattern, but Tyler's sulking, so that's a little funny. 

Tyler dares, "Well, what do your plants say about you?"

"Glory flower," Sharpy says, punctuating with a smile. There's nothing really to say about that. "I got the rings and all." 

"I was a palm tree," Big Rig volunteers, and no one has anything to say about that. Instead they all nod. Big Rig's very tall. There's really nothing to say about that, either. 

Jason's also half-sure that plants determining traits is pop psychology, but nosy does sound like Tyler Seguin. Nosy can also describe any one of Jason's kids, so, yeah. 

After a moment, Val's the one who asks, "Why here?" 

And, well, uh, everyone looks at Jason expectantly. He shrugs, making sure the ivy is neatly above his stall. He runs a finger along a leaf--"I went on a point streak last time--"

"Ah, dad strength!" Rous butts in. 

"And I brought the marigolds then, so... " 

They fill in the blanks. Demers breaks the silence with, "Wait, so what the hell--"

There's a clatter of noise of a dozen arguing hockey players. Finally, Patty says, "100 bucks for that, Daddy. We're not swearing in front of baby-plants." 

Jason approves. It's a hazard of a locker room and hockey players, but hey, if Jason can avoid swearing around kids and plants that announce kids, so can they. Until Jason's point streak ends and Jen gets fed up with not spending more time with their latest, at least. 

Demers grumbles, but he acquiesces. He digs out his wallet and hands it over, right there. "Fine, but how long are we fu--fudging dealing with a plant in the room?" 

That, Jason has an answer to. He turns back to face the room and says, "I'm not taking it with me on the road. Jen would kill me. " 

 

Things seemed fine, even if they now had a swear jar for when Jason's ivy was in there. 

 

The team wants to help, which is cool. Wishplants need a lot of care if they're going to eventually bring babies. 

Ales murmurs something and hands him a twig. So does Faksa, so Jason guesses it's a Czech thing. The extravagant stroller Jason gets from Hemsky's wife Julie is not. 

"We have one," Jason says, when he sees Ales with it. He's gone through this before. He has a stroller that's seen three different Spezzas. 

"Please, take it." Ales frowns, and Jason is well-versed in Ales's frowns. This one says, 'Take it and be a good friend, Jason. My wife wants a baby, and she's taken up gardening. Help me out here, man.' 

Sharpy's wife sends some generic plant food. 

Vern and his wife send blankets. He tells Vern, later, after they've piled the blankets and put the ivy on top of them, that "Chrissy could have brought them to the baby shower." Everyone's wives and girlfriends will probably get an invitation. 

Jason is used to gifts for babies, mostly little jerseys with other people's numbers on them, but still, this is a little much. 

"It keeps the plant warm now and the baby warm later," Vern says, and Jason can't argue with that. Vern also cracks open a beer for Jason, and they bask in the solitude of being dads for a little while. 

It's almost normal, even if Scevs gets the plant a jersey with the number 22 on it. 

Tyler gifts him a really ridiculous teddy bear that's larger than the ivy. 

Rous actually gets the ivy a pot with the Stars logo on it, which makes Jason sigh. He also buys it a small cat ornament.

Jason knows it take a village to water a garden and all that, but this was getting annoying. He makes enough money. He and Jen have all this stuff from the last one. 

 

Travis takes Jason aside and buys him dinner. Before the check arrives, Travis says, "Wishplants are a grave responsibility," in a tone that Jason half takes for serious until they both burst out laughing. 

"But seriously," Travis adds, "You've got the nursery set up?" 

Jason does. They do. Nothing's going to waste, at least. There are so many more diapers to look forward to in Jason's life. 

"You aren't going to decorate it in ivy?" He sounds a little disbelieving. Jason never took Travis for one of those people who surrounded their kids with their plants. 

"No." Jason takes a stab at his dessert. "We've still got it set up from our last one." 

"In your rental house? Maybe you should buy your own house, though." Travis opens the check and puts his card in. He then adds, "If your family's putting down roots here, might as well keep a garden." 

That almost sounds nice. 

 

When Jason complains to Jen, she only laughs at him. So he thinks he should be grateful he has teammates and friends that care about him. But Jason still thinks this is unnecessary. 

 

And once it starts, Jason doesn't expect everyone to have opinions on how he treats the ivy, especially not since he's had three kids. Three. Separate. Times. But it seems everyone does, and considering half the room doesn't have kids, that's too many people with opinions.

 

"Hey, I read that you should keep wishplants at a comfortable temperature," Eaks says, one day. "So, maybe you should get one of those greenhouse boxes." 

Val only shakes his head. "I was cactus, am very okay." 

"In Russia!?" Demers exclaims, incredulously. "Dude, your wishplant could have frozen to death." 

Val only glares at him. 

 

Jason also thinks it's too late for the ivy. Poor kid, he thinks, being surrounded by too many coddling hockey players. On the Senators, there wasn't anything like this mess. Maybe it's because they didn't have that many well-meaning, but useless rookies. 

 

Johnsy brings him a cup of water after a workout, and Jason's always grateful when the rookies are thoughtful and respectful to their elders. 

"Thanks, Johnsy." Jason goes ahead and takes a sip and then pulls a face. It's sickeningly sweet. It's almost like syrup. 

"It's not for you." Well, Johnsy could have said that before Jason got a mouthful of treacle. And then Johnsy also pulls a face. "For your plant. Sugar water's good for wishplants," he says, with all the wisdom of a small Pennsylvania town. Which is better than all the Swedish wisdom Oduya's been throwing out to Jason, but honestly, no fish is going near his ivy. 

Jason sighs. "I guess I should be glad you didn't try slipping my ivy Gatorade?" 

"Huh," Johnsy says. "That could work. Sounds like a good idea. It's got sugar and electrolytes--" Johnsy stops when Jason glares harder. "I mean, it's your kid. Treat the wishplant well?" 

Across the room, Jason hears a scoff. It's by the goalie corner. Nemo says, "It doesn't work like that." Alright, why not hear this, too. "Sugar water makes a spoiled kid." 

"Hey!" Klinger objects, but he does it Swedishly. There's a little harder emphasis on the word that Jason usually hears. "You take that back!" Klinger continues punching the air, like the words were an enemy he could actually beat in a fight, unlike hockey players. "I was fed on sugar water." 

Nemo nods, but he doesn't apologize. Instead, he turns away and goes back to chattering with Kari. 

That's very enraging, Jason has to admit. 

 

By the time little Julia comes to them, Jason can only sigh in relief. She's so _little_. Jason always forgets how newborns are. She's precious. 

Jen's playing with Anna while Jason's rocking their newest addition to the family. 

"I'm not letting her meet the team until she can walk," he declares. 

Jen kisses him on the check and chuckles, which is unfair. "Trade you?" she asks, and Jason swaps newborn for toddler. 

"They're not that bad," Jen insists. 

Inside, Jason's not giggling.


End file.
